J....

I havent seen him for ages although I've lived with him my entire life. I spent 20 years fighting and hating someone so much I just have to love him......

He's roaming the streets with a crew cut that would grow into to-die-for curls after 6 months. He'd like to be 6 feet and a few pounds heavier while I'm trying hard to lose the reason he calls me "fatty". Yet, I know he's teasing.

I've watched him grow and it's hard to say he's changed. It's also difficult to say he's remained the same. He's the same boy who can't stand his annoying li'l sis, but is the man who knows when its okay for her to wear that dress.

He likes women. Just like all other straight guys do. Yet, he hasn't been in a relationship longer than two months. He lives on practicality and that is something women don't seem to understand. "Commitment" does not exist for him. He has his reasons....Zaha Hadid is the woman in his life.

It follows then that he loves design. He loves cars. He loves to design cars. He's studying to be an architect. Suffocated by professors who think square when he sees round, who see Byzantine or Gothic when he sees post modern and deconstruction. Aesthetics does not follow rules. Feasibility does. The Palm Islands are intelligent design; the Acropolis, a masterpiece.

Now I know it's possible for a guy to wear colours other than white, black, dark blue, dark green and grey. His favorite colour is green. Different shades of green.....Red is good, so is orange. Yellow too. Pink....depends! He's the guy who decides whether something looks good on me or not. The guy who'll tell me that I need to dress up once in a way.....

I'm sure he wanted a brother. So he said when I asked him. I was about 15 then; he 16. He'd gotten a new set of friends, was partying every other week, "hanging out". I was sitting at home reading a book or out playing street badminton. Oh the shame, the embarrassment!!

Ask him now and he'll deny that he'd wished for a brother. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. But I know he loves me all the same. For all the shit I do. All the shit I get him into. All the shit I get him out of. The shit we face together.....

It doesn't help one bit that I don't have him to talk to. Or that he writes four lines once a week in reply to the essays I write every day. He tells me he doesn't miss me, that I'm an idiot to forget my data cable at home, and that I need to get a life.That's why I miss him. Mum says that's why he misses me......He says he'll buy me my first car. I want a Lamborghini Gallardo!

He's the only person I'll believe. The only one I can tell has been lying and who can tell I've been lying. And he will never lie to me.

God was painting today....

God was painting today.

He cried. At the inhumanity of humanity. His tears fell free, in a torrent of raindrops. The earth collected them in her lap. The butterflies and frogs came out to console Him. So, He took out His easel and His palette and began to paint.

I saw the white fluff first. It blossomed. An outpour of Love for His child. Soon, He threw light from behind and I saw the silver lining that lights up gloomy days. He wanted to tell me He loves me. Maybe that's why He used pink. It crept out from behind His cloud and then, to supplement the truth, He splashed a bit of the brightest blue I've ever seen.

Green came next. That bluey-green that only God can create. He took me home through the clouds; back to a time when I played on the beach, and mum showed me the colours of the setting sun. I turned to see a cottony cloud of ivory plastered in the sky. Grey at the bottom, white surf on top. Innocence.

Click, snap went the shutters. Catch it on camera. God was telling me the story of His love through the sky. How could I join them in this ridiculous circus? I wanted to fly to the Heavens, run away from reality, spend the rest of infinity in that psychedelic explosion of colour.

So, He stopped. The sky turned blue and white and grey. He brought me back to where I am. There's a time and place for everything. I watched as He teased me with the swimming clouds, still blushing pink from the touch of His brush. I was home for a while. I feel a little closer to Him now that He's shown me He's always around - in the trees, the birds, the insects, the animals, the clouds, the sky....

God was painting today. He was painting for me.

Hotel IIJNM....(Happy Birthday, Shilpa!!)

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair.
Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air.
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light.
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night.

There she stood in the doorway, I heard the mission bell.
I was thinking to myself this could be Heaven or this could be Hell.
Then she lit up a candle, and she showed me the way.
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say,

Welcome to the Hostel IIJNM
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Many a room at the Hostel IIJNM
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can find us here.

Her mind is differently twisted, she got no Mercedes Benz.
She got just one pretty boy, who's her special friend.
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet Mallu sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget.

So I call Mr. Noel. I said, "please bring me my wine."
He said, " We don't allow that spirit here since 1999."
But still those voices are calling from far away.
Wake you up in the middle of the night, just to hear us say.

Welcome to the Hostel IIJNM
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Many a room at the Hostel IIJNM
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can find us here.

Stars on the ceiling. Large khodez, no ice.
And she said, "We are all just prisoners here,
Of Kanchan's devise."
And in Abraham's chambers, where they gathered for the feast.
Stab it with their steely knives,
But they just cant kill the beast.

Last thing I remember, I was running for the door.
Had to find the passage back to the place I was before.
"Relax," said the nightman, "We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like.
But you can never leave."
____________________________________________________________________

Please note: It was both, Sohini and I who modified the lyrics 5 minutes before going to the mess and publicly embarrasing not just ourselves, but a very "messed-up" Shilpa as well.