Sometimes, you dont have enough confidence in yourself. I suppose thats what it takes to succeed. If you believe, anything can happen....Err, maybe not. Something will happen, but whatever does, it'll be for the best.
I know I can do lots of things. But how well I can do them is what's bothering me. I can write, but can I write well enough to succeed in the course I've chosen? I can draw, but is it justified to sketch from a photograph? I can play guitar (can I really?!?), but classical is not enough. It is similar with so many other activities I do....Jack of all trades, master of none.
If I sit down and really think positive, I figure 'I can do something. I must be good at something. Its just that I haven't found that something yet.' And I suppose that will happen. But how long am I to wait for me to finish discovering myself? After 20 years, its still not clear in which direction I'm headed....I see all these wonderful people around me, each and everyone talented in their own right; good enough to make the grade in that area/those areas....No jacks here, all masters, or nearly there....
Maybe I just need to work up on what I have now, and what I can already do. Practice makes a man perfect, huh?!! (whats with me and idioms today?!) I believe I can do something, get somewhere. I may not be as good as every one else, but is that the point? My ideals are way up there, and the real me is way down below....But its just for the moment. Just for the moment.